moviesucktastic on livestream.com. Broadcast Live Free
Showing posts with label ITunes. Show all posts
Showing posts with label ITunes. Show all posts
Friday, May 16, 2014
Moviesucktastic #142: Streets (1990)
Moviesucktastic Video Podcast Episode #142: Streets (1990), starring Christina Applegate and David Mendenhall, aka the obnoxious kid from Over the Top (1987).
Tuesday, March 19, 2013
Next on Moviesucktastic: Starcrash (1978)
Next on Moviesucktastic: Starcrash, starring Christopher Plummer and David Hasselhoff!
This episode features special review commentary by guest host Chris Byczkiewicz, so be sure to tune in.
And just in case you want to play along, the full film can be watched in its entirety (not advisable) on YouTube:
Tune in live on Wednesday 3/20 at 8:30 PM, or listen afterwards by downloading the podcast on iTunes or Moviesucktastic.com.
This episode features special review commentary by guest host Chris Byczkiewicz, so be sure to tune in.
And just in case you want to play along, the full film can be watched in its entirety (not advisable) on YouTube:
Tune in live on Wednesday 3/20 at 8:30 PM, or listen afterwards by downloading the podcast on iTunes or Moviesucktastic.com.
Friday, May 11, 2012
Moviesucktastic #72: Van Helsing (and John Travolta's Penis)
 |
| Promoting "Staying Alive" in Sweden (Photo credit: Wikipedia) |
This week, news that the dreaded Hollywood Machine (or, as John Travolta would say, "Homosexual Jews") was contemplating a Tom Cruise-starring remake of the not-even-a-decade old Stephen Sommers debacle of a Universal Monsters homage, Van Helsing. The mutual disgust felt by your faithful film review podcast hosts has never been disguised or concealed, yet the film has never garnered an official full-bore MST review, so this dreadful soul-withering news seemed like a perfect opportunity to follow up on our hatred for Van Helsing by spitting a little venomous bile in its general direction.
But first, Entertainment Industry News! And what would entertainment news be without vile, salacious rumors and accusations leveled against a popular A-List actor? Usually, that would be this show. However, news of recent charges of sexual assault leveled against John Travolta of The Experts fame that breath life into past accusations of the Swordfish star's closeted homosexuality, and so The Movie Guys decided to run with the story. Not because of the supposed scandal that claiming the co-star of Look Who's Talking is secretly gay is supposed to evoke, nor the fact that it is yet another (yawn) Hollywood celebrity sex scandal.
No, instead, we decided to run with the story based solely on the fact that the publicized text from the actual lawsuit spends an inordinate amount of time describing various aspects of John Travolta's penis, demonstrates the awkward sexual advances of a film star normally portrayed on screen in films like Perfect as a smooth operator, and includes accusations that he was forced to perform gay sex acts to secure the role of Vinnie Barbarino on Welcome Back, Kotter. (Scott's money is on Gabe Kaplan).
But fear not! We don't spend too much time on John Travolta's penis, as our recent re-watching of Van Helsing is more than enough to leave one feeling used and violated. Between Hugh Jackman's hair extensions and John Travolta's penis, there is plenty in this week's episode to leave a bad taste in your mouth.
Tune in and listen to the show on iTunes (be sure to leave us some more awesome reviews!) and Stitcher (for Smartphone and BMW owners alike), or watch the video version of the show over at Livestream (including LIVE RECORDINGS every Thursday night starting around 8PM). Of course, you can listen and/or watch us from the Moviesucktastic Site as well, which includes links to other online locations of MST goodness. While you're at it, visit us on Facebook and Twitter so we don't get too lonely.
Friday, February 24, 2012
Moviesucktastic #62: The Devil and Max Devlin
 |
| Image via Wikipedia |
The first PG film ever released by Disney, The Devil and Max Devlin is the typical light Disney fare of Satanic influences and the intentional corruption of innocent youth. The rather unenchanting story of a grubby slumlord forced by a demon named Barney to damn the souls of three obnoxious children in order to save his own, Elliot Gould and Bill Cosby share top billing on this awkward and haphazard retelling of Stephen Vincent Benét's The Devil and Daniel Webster, even though Cosby only pops up periodically to annoy Gould's character and not make the audience laugh.
Gould is uncharacteristically unappealing throughout as he drops his past anti-establishment persona for that of middle-aged creep, and Cosby is equally unfunny in the role of humorless demonic taskmaster. Add to this the Disney demographic-driven stable of child actors, including the pig-faced Eight is Enough troubled child star Adam Rich, an unattractive Barbara Streisand wanna be, and a meager yet enhanced interrogation level soundtrack comprised of only two (!!!!) Julie Budd songs repeated ad nausea, and you have what could possibly be the most depressing and uninspiring Disney film since The Black Hole.
Disney's idea of a Bill Cosby role.
Listen to Moviesucktastic #62 for an in depth examination of The Devil and Max Devlin by The Movie Guys. This episode of Moviesucktastic is available on iTunes and Zune, or on Podcast Pickle, Podcast Pup and Pod Feed. If you are on the go, you can stream it on the fly directly onto your smart phone using the sweet-ass Stitcher App. And, as always, you can also download or listen to the show streaming at Moviesucktastic.com.
Thursday, February 2, 2012
Moviesucktastic #60: Ghost Dad
 |
| Cover of Ghost Dad |
Meant to be Bill Cosby's comeback film to make everyone (including Cosby himself, apparently) forget about the Leonard: Part Six debacle, Ghost Dad only manages to make the audience wish wistfully for the visual tomfoolery of Cosby riding ostriches and buttering killer lobsters. Bill Cosby is an overworked single parent who consistently neglects his bland and uninteresting children while trying to secure their financial future through "The Big Deal" he is brokering at his vague job involving placating a bunch of old white men. Then, hilariously, he dies and begins haunting his children. Comedy gold, right? The fact that Ghost Dad seemed to be suspiciously timed to beat the Patrick Swayze vehicle Ghost to the big screen by three months makes the end results even that much more depressing. A no-budget special effects film that was obviously butchered and cut short due to budget constraints, Ghost Dad serves as little more than a bitter reminder to Autumn Jackson that hers wasn't the only childhood devoid of Cosby's Jello-Brand Gelatin parental guidance.
This episode of Moviesucktastic is available on iTunes and Zune, or on Podcast Pickle, Podcast Pup and Pod Feed. If you are on the go, you can stream it on the fly directly onto your smart phone using the sweet-ass Stitcher App. And, as always, you can also download or listen to the show streaming at Moviesucktastic.com.
And while you're at it, be sure to drop us a voice mail on the Moviesucktastic Hotline, 908-514-4470. Call in with your Oscar predictions and shame us!
Thursday, January 26, 2012
Moviesucktastic #59: 2012 Oscar Nominations Show
 |
| Image via Wikipedia |
Joey and Scott take a few moments at the beginning of the show to talk about Scott's new job, his recent trip to California, his eager consumption of cow throat glands and his long term issues with ear wax buildup, before diving into the past weekend's Top Ten Box Office list. As usual, the Top Ten segment wraps up with the Finger List, and Scott trashing a widely respected film (this week's title to incur Scott's hatred: Schindler's List).
Schindler's List - Best Romantic Comedy Ever
After a brief moment spent lamenting the recent trend towards 3D in films (yes, again), and a quick verbal assault on New Jersey Governor Chris Christie, Joey and Scott spend the second half of the show taking a closer look at the Nominees for the 2012 Academy Awards. As well as the usual bitching and moaning about the Academy, their recent Ten Best Picture decision (Nine this year, just to be annoying), and hammering out the details of this year's live video podcast of the Moviesucktastic Oscar coverage, Joey and Scott touch on the films filling the roster of the top main categories. Tune in and get the inside scoop on who is going to win, who is going to lose, and how lame Ben Stiller is going to be this year. The time to prepare for this year's Oscar Awards show is rapidly dwindling!
Trailer for Every Oscar-Winning Movie Ever
This episode of Moviesucktastic is available on iTunes and Zune, or on Podcast Pickle, Podcast Pup and Pod Feed. If you are on the go, you can stream it on the fly directly onto your smart phone using the sweet-ass Stitcher App. And, as always, you can also download or listen to the show streaming at Moviesucktastic.com.
And while you're at it, be sure to drop us a voice mail on the Moviesucktastic Hotline, 908-514-4470. Call in with your Oscar predictions and shame us!
Monday, November 21, 2011
Moviesucktastic #52: Batman Returns, 11-11-11
This episode, Joey and Scott delve into the dark recesses of the new film 11-11-11. Not since Friday the 13th has a premier-weekend-opening-date-specific titled film been so eagerly anticipated by an audience thrilled by the mere concept of seeing a film in a theater on the date scrawled across the marquee! Does the film have anything to offer besides a conveniently coincidental release date and title? If by "anything" you mean moments of spine-tingling terror emanating from the masterfully crafted screenplay of a taught theological thriller, then the answer is a sad, whimpering "no."
But not so fast! Before delving into the Land of Elevens, The Movie Guys (Joey and Scott) examine the top ten box office hits of the past week, weighing in on the hits and misses, adding their own entries into this week's Finger List, and inexplicably remembering that episode of Silver Spoons in which a young Rick Schroder dressed up in drag so he could accompany his lonely friend on a date.
But not so fast! Before they can get hip-deep in pseudo-numerology, Scott diverges onto a path leading towards bitter rage and indignation. Having recently bumped into one of those vile, soulless bastards trolling the internet and acting like complete ass-hats whenever they should stumble upon those whose opinions differ from theirs (you know the type), Scott taps into his reserve of Post-Avatar-Aggression and swings long and hard at the Facebook loser who dared to imply that his dislike of the Tim Burton travesty Batman Returns disqualified him from being able to call himself a "Film Buff."
Knowing better than to get in the way of one of Scott's tirade's, Joey steps back and lets Scott take over for a lengthy and unapologetic rant against Batman Returns and those Facebook fiends who would dare question his film criticism credentials while defending such a steaming pile of cinema. Just to show they play fair, the Moviesucktastic Hotline number is given out, along with an invitation for Scott's newest reel rival to call in and defend his honor.Let us hope he takes the bait.
Finally, after much wailing and gnashing of teeth, Joey and Scott wearily descend upon this week's feature review, the tragically boring and poorly crafted 11-11-11, written and directed by Saw II, III and IV director Darren Lynn Bousman, and forever tainting the sterling reputation of the Saw film franchise. Joey and Scott spend a great deal of time struggling to come to terms with how hackneyed and cliche the film's plot is, how badly and ham-fisted the dialogue is, and how non-frightening the multitude of cat-in-closet scares were overall. In fact, according to Scott, the creepiest part of the entire film is how in-depth Joey became with spotting the instances of the number eleven being surgically implanted into the film's background. If you can't tell how this one ends after the fifteen minutes, you might be the same guy who defended Batman Returns as a work of cinematic genius. Scott ends their sad look back at 11-11-11 by recommending a good film involving evil religious cults, The Nameless.
As with previous episodes, the show wraps up with yet another installment of Scott's Sucktastic Theater, in which he continues reading from the novel which served as the inspiration for the film Gymkata, Dan Tyler Moore's The Terrible Game.
"Jonathan could literally feel the wild nervous energy of his pony."
This episode of Moviesucktastic is available on iTunes and Zune, or on Podcast Pickle, Podcast Pup and Pod Feed. If you are on the go, you can stream it on the fly directly onto your smart phone using the sweet-ass Stitcher App. And, as always, you can also download or listen to the show streaming at Moviesucktastic.com.
And while you're at it, be sure to drop us a voice mail on the Moviesucktastic Hotline, 908-514-4470. Especially feel free to call in if Scott spent half of the episode calling you a jackass. This means you, CA.
Friday, November 11, 2011
Moviesucktastic #51: Action Jackson
Image via WikipediaIn the tradition of Formula 51, Planet 51, Dossier 51, and of course, Area 51, Moviesucktastic brings you: Episode #51! For this landmark episode (our very first fifty-first episode!), Joey and Scott tackle the man of the hour, a tower of power, and cool Detroit cop all the ladies want to be frisked by, the one and only Action Jackson!
The Movie Guys start off the show with some industry news, discussing Brett Ratner's unceremonious removal as Producer of the 84th Annual Academy Awards show due to his "Rehearsals are for fags" comment (proving that he chooses his words as carefully as he chooses films to direct, i.e X-Men: The Last Stand, Red Dragon, Rush Hour, Rush Hour 2, Rush Hour 3), and Twilight-meets-Grimm fairy tale film adaptation Snow White and the Huntsman, in which the Huntsman not only refuses to kill Snow White, but trains her for combat to defend herself (proving that Hollywood can take even a classic story already told hundreds of times and weigh it down even further with a tired premise).
After this brief look at the dismal state of affairs regarding upcoming releases, all eyes turn to the indomitable Action Jackson! Don't let the carbon-copy James Bond movie poster fool you: Sgt. Jericho "Action" Jackson is no 007. No sir, this tough as nails Detroit cop doesn't play Blackjack and sip martinis, he plays dominoes and cracks open big cans of whoop-ass, all while spending as much time shirtless as humanly possible. The future city of Detroit might need a Robocop to protect it, but the only thing this modern day Motor City needs to stop the evil plans of Auto Magnate Craig T. Nelson (and do you really need a reason to want to see someone beat the living snot out of Craig T. Nelson?) is an Oh-No Cop, as in Oh No You Didn't! Or, as Action Jackson would say: "How do you like your ribs?" Just be warned: whatever you do, don't piss him off.
The show wraps up with yet another installment of Scott's Sucktastic Theater, in which he continues reading from the novel which served as the inspiration for the film Gymkata, Dan Tyler Moore's The Terrible Game. For good measure, Scott and Joey share some quick stories pant-less about mutual friend Buszna before signing off.
This episode of Moviesucktastic is available on iTunes and Zune, or on Podcast Pickle, Podcast Pup and Pod Feed. If you are on the go, you can stream it on the fly directly onto your smart phone using the sweet-ass Stitcher App. And, as always, you can also download or listen to the show streaming at Moviesucktastic.com.
And while you're at it, be sure to drop us a voice mail on the Moviesucktastic Hotline, 908-514-4470. Just don't talk no jive, unless you're prepared for some Jackson Action.
Thursday, November 10, 2011
Moviesucktastic #50: Dungeons & Dragons, Severed: Forest of the Dead
Image via WikipediaMilestones are often causes for celebration. Anniversaries are frequently marked as joyous occasions. But for Joey & Scott, the fearless hosts of Moviesucktastic, the recording of episode #50 of their podcast dedicated to the contemplation and appreciation of awful cinema brings with only more pain, suffering, and human degradation. Instead of passing around party favors and pointy hats, the Movie Guys broke out the twenty-sided dice and flannel shirts for a double feature of crappy movies.For those of you who thought that the upcoming Battleship was the first epic film based on a game, the Movie Guys cover the adaptation that role-playing game geeks have struggled to forget for years, the regretful Dungeons & Dragons. This failure to successfully cash in on the trademark of a cultural marketing phenomenon, rivaled only by the dismal Garbage Pail Kids: The Movie, features the questionable performances of the overacting Jeremy Irons, the overestimated Justin Whalin, the overly annoying Marlon Wayans, and a supporting cast of people who should have known better (with the possible exception of Richard O'Brien, who pretty much exists in his own unique cinematic world). Bonus points for the appearance of Lee Arenberg, who starred as a disgusting bald dwarf warrior before going on to take on the role of everyone's favorite disgusting bald pirate in the Pirates of the Caribbean franchise. Minus points for blue lipstick.
After this abysmal dungeon crawl, Scott consumed a bottle (or two, or three) of basement-brewed wine before following Joey into the thick, overgrown jungle of disappointing zombie films that is Severed: Forest of the Dead. When you hear Lumberjacks and Environmental Activists vs. Zombies, do you think Chainsaws, Bulldozers, and Picket Signs driven through zombified skulls? Then prepare to be disappointed as you slog through this week's Moviesucktastic Home Game selection, brought streaming into your homes by the money-grubbing bastards at Netflix. Despite the tantalizing promise that this low-budget horror film will deliver an "undead gore fest that makes a run-in with a wood chipper seem tame," the closest you'll get to any real gore is when you claw your eyes out from sheer boredom during the riveting dinner-table conversation scenes.
This episode of Moviesucktastic is available on iTunes and Zune, or on Podcast Pickle, Podcast Pup and Pod Feed. If you are on the go, you can stream it on the fly directly onto your smart phone using the sweet-ass Stitcher App. And, as always, you can also download or listen to the show streaming at Moviesucktastic.com.
And while you're at it, be sure to drop us a voice mail on the Moviesucktastic Hotline, 908-514-4470. Leave a review or recommend a bad movie for us to watch. We're always open to suggestions.
Sunday, October 30, 2011
Moviesucktastic #49: Little Man, Birdemic
Little Man (Image via RottenTomatoes.com)With Halloween weekend rounding the weekend corner, the Movie Guys decide to take Episode #49 of Moviesucktastic in a completely non-Horror-related direction, apparently hedging on the fact that everyone and their mother is discussing horror films this week, so something a bit out of left field might prove to be a more pleasant diversion.
Joey and Scott start things off by discussing the latest weekend Box Office numbers, taking the time to discuss Paranormal Activity 3, The Three Musketeers, Footloose and more. They also weigh in with their finger list choices for the week, with Joey clinging to his dislike of Dolphin Tale, and Scott standing firm behind his complete and utter disgust with the very existence of The Thing (2011).
The rest of the show is fully of plenty and pain and suffering worthy of comparison to the Jigsaw trap on any entry in the Saw franchise: First, Scott tackles Joey's movie challenge to him, the inexplicably unfunny Wayans Brothers comedy Little Man (apparently known in the Philippines as Perfect Gem & Valuable). Nowhere near the comic genius of Keenan Ivory Wayans' '80s parody I'm Gonna Git You, Sucka, Little Man seems to struggle over the dillemma of which is less funny: potty jokes and sexual assault humor surrounding a midget dressed up like a toddler, or Tracy Morgan. Tough call.
As if CGI midget fart jokes aren't bad enough, the next film tackled as part of the Moviesucktastic Home Game is the student-film-quality global warming cautionary tale called Birdemic, in which an environmentally aware solar panel salesman and his Victoria's Secret model girlfriend attempt to survive an avian apocalypse of hovering, exploding, acid-vomiting kamikaze eagles. There's nothing that can prepare you for how awful this film is, people. You'll just have to watch it on Netflix streaming and see for yourself.
This episode of Moviesucktastic is available on iTunes and Zune, or on Podcast Pickle, Podcast Pup and Pod Feed. If you are on the go, you can stream it on the fly directly onto your smart phone using the sweet-ass Stitcher App. And, as always, you can also download or listen to the show streaming at Moviesucktastic.com.
And while you're at it, be sure to drop us a voice mail on the Moviesucktastic Hotline, 908-514-4470. Leave a Birdemic review to share with out faithful Swedish listeners. They're dying to hear what you have to say.
Tuesday, August 23, 2011
Moviesucktastic Episode #41: Virus
Image via WikipediaWhat's this? Joey and Scott in the same room recording? No! Wait a minute... it's a trick! It appears that The Movie Guys have finally figured out how to harness the limitless power of the Internet using the awesomeness of Skype, and are now recording episode from their respective shelters, the Guida Estates and the Wilson Compound.
With this newfound technological advancement clutched firmly in their hairy knuckles, Episode #41 of Moviesucktastic is structured around Joey's latest movie challenge to Scott, the Jamie Lee Curtis, William Baldwin and Donald Sutherland (which one of these is not like the others) sentient alien life form horror movie Virus! Scott doesn't consider it nearly as painful as some other horror films that have been forced upon him, but he and Joey still find enough to cover extensively.
Virus also receives the honor of launching the newest feature of the Moviesucktastic Podcast Pseudo-Structure: Taking Out the Trash, in which Joey and/or Scott give examples of what they would have done differently in order to make the film at hand more enjoyable, hence effectively removing the bad bits (taking out the trash... get it?) and creating an entirely new and less sucktastic film.
Also featured in this episode are the Top Ten films in the theaters over the past weekend, the latest additions to The Finger List, and the second installment of Scott's Sucktastic Theater, in which he continues reading from the novel which served as the inspiration for the film Gymkata, Dan Tyler Moore's The Terrible Game.
This episode of Moviesucktastic is available on iTunes and Zune, or on Podcast Pickle, Podcast Pup and Pod Feed. If you are on the go, you can stream it on the fly directly onto your smart phone using the sweet-ass Stitcher App. And, as always, you can also download or listen to the show streaming at Moviesucktastic.com.
And while you're at it, be sure to drop us a voice mail on the newly acquired Moviesucktastic Hotline, 908-514-4470. Tell us how much you enjoyed the ending of Skyline. You know you want to.
Monday, August 15, 2011
Episode #40: The Golden Child
Cover of The Golden ChildEpisode #40 of Moviesucktastic is a Casztastic solo episode, featuring Joey's review of Scott's latest challenge to him, the Eddie Murphy 80's classic The Golden Child!
You can hear Joey gush all over Eddie Murphy's comedic talents in this episode of Moviesucktastic on iTunes and Zune, or on Podcast Pickle, Podcast Pup and Pod Feed. If you are on the go, you can stream us on the fly directly onto your smart phone using the sweet-ass Stitcher App. And, as always, you can also download or listen to the show streaming at Moviesucktastic.com.
And while you're at it, be sure to drop us a voice mail on the newly acquired Moviesucktastic Hotline, 908-514-4470. Tell us how much you enjoyed the ending of Skyline. You know you want to.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)