Showing posts with label Gymkata. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Gymkata. Show all posts

Monday, November 21, 2011

Moviesucktastic #52: Batman Returns, 11-11-11

Welcome to Moviesucktastic #52, brought to you by the classic crime drama 52 Pick-Up.

This episode, Joey and Scott delve into the dark recesses of the new film 11-11-11. Not since Friday the 13th has a premier-weekend-opening-date-specific titled film been so eagerly anticipated by an audience thrilled by the mere concept of seeing a film in a theater on the date scrawled across the marquee! Does the film have anything to offer besides a conveniently coincidental release date and title? If by "anything" you mean moments of spine-tingling terror emanating from the masterfully crafted screenplay of a taught theological thriller, then the answer is a sad, whimpering "no."

But not so fast! Before delving into the Land of Elevens, The Movie Guys (Joey and Scott) examine the top ten box office hits of the past week, weighing in on the hits and misses, adding their own entries into this week's Finger List, and inexplicably remembering that episode of Silver Spoons in which a young Rick Schroder dressed up in drag so he could accompany his lonely friend on a date.



But not so fast! Before they can get hip-deep in pseudo-numerology, Scott diverges onto a path leading towards bitter rage and indignation. Having recently bumped into one of those vile, soulless bastards trolling the internet and acting like complete ass-hats whenever they should stumble upon those whose opinions differ from theirs (you know the type), Scott taps into his reserve of Post-Avatar-Aggression and swings long and hard at the Facebook loser who dared to imply that his dislike of the Tim Burton travesty Batman Returns disqualified him from being able to call himself a "Film Buff."

Knowing better than to get in the way of one of Scott's tirade's, Joey steps back and lets Scott take over for a lengthy and unapologetic rant against Batman Returns and those Facebook fiends who would dare question his film criticism credentials while defending such a steaming pile of cinema. Just to show they play fair, the Moviesucktastic Hotline number is given out, along with an invitation for Scott's newest reel rival to call in and defend his honor.Let us hope he takes the bait.


Finally, after much wailing and gnashing of teeth, Joey and Scott wearily descend upon this week's feature review, the tragically boring and poorly crafted 11-11-11, written and directed by Saw II, III and IV director Darren Lynn Bousman, and forever tainting the sterling reputation of the Saw film franchise. Joey and Scott spend a great deal of time struggling to come to terms with how hackneyed and cliche the film's plot is, how badly and ham-fisted the dialogue is, and how non-frightening the multitude of cat-in-closet scares were overall. In fact, according to Scott, the creepiest part of the entire film is how in-depth Joey became with spotting the instances of the number eleven being surgically implanted into the film's background. If you can't tell how this one ends after the fifteen minutes, you might be the same guy who defended Batman Returns as a work of cinematic genius. Scott ends their sad look back at 11-11-11 by recommending a good film involving evil religious cults, The Nameless.


As with previous episodes, the show wraps up with yet another installment of Scott's Sucktastic Theater, in which he continues reading from the novel which served as the inspiration for the film Gymkata, Dan Tyler Moore's The Terrible Game.

"Jonathan could literally feel the wild nervous energy of his pony."

This episode of Moviesucktastic is available on iTunes and Zune, or on Podcast PicklePodcast Pup and Pod FeedIf you are on the go, you can stream it on the fly directly onto your smart phone using the sweet-ass Stitcher App. And, as always, you can also download or listen to the show streaming at Moviesucktastic.com.

And while you're at it, be sure to drop us a voice mail on the Moviesucktastic Hotline908-514-4470. Especially feel free to call in if Scott spent half of the episode calling you a jackass. This means you, CA.

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Tuesday, August 23, 2011

Moviesucktastic Episode #41: Virus

Film poster for VirusImage via Wikipedia
What's this? Joey and Scott in the same room recording? No! Wait a minute... it's a trick! It appears that The Movie Guys have finally figured out how to harness the limitless power of the Internet using the awesomeness of Skype, and are now recording episode from their respective shelters, the Guida Estates and the Wilson Compound.

With this newfound technological advancement clutched firmly in their hairy knuckles, Episode #41 of Moviesucktastic is structured around Joey's latest movie challenge to Scott, the Jamie Lee Curtis, William Baldwin and Donald Sutherland (which one of these is not like the others) sentient alien life form horror movie Virus! Scott doesn't consider it nearly as painful as some other horror films that have been forced upon him, but he and Joey still find enough to cover extensively.

Virus also receives the honor of launching the newest feature of the Moviesucktastic Podcast Pseudo-Structure: Taking Out the Trash, in which Joey and/or Scott give examples of what they would have done differently in order to make the film at hand more enjoyable, hence effectively removing the bad bits (taking out the trash... get it?) and creating an entirely new and less sucktastic film.

Also featured in this episode are the Top Ten films in the theaters over the past weekend, the latest additions to The Finger List, and the second installment of Scott's Sucktastic Theater, in which he continues reading from the novel which served as the inspiration for the film Gymkata, Dan Tyler Moore's The Terrible Game.



This episode of Moviesucktastic is available on iTunes and Zune, or on Podcast Pickle, Podcast Pup and Pod Feed. If you are on the go, you can stream it on the fly directly onto your smart phone using the sweet-ass Stitcher App. And, as always, you can also download or listen to the show streaming at Moviesucktastic.com.

And while you're at it, be sure to drop us a voice mail on the newly acquired Moviesucktastic Hotline, 908-514-4470. Tell us how much you enjoyed the ending of Skyline. You know you want to.


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Friday, July 29, 2011

Episode #37 - You Sunk My Beowulf!

BattleshipImage by unloveablesteve via FlickrEpisode #37 of Moviesucktastic is now live! This episode is a Scottastic solo episode, and he starts the show at full speed with a frustrated rant against the mere existence of the new mega-budget Hasbro board-game tie-in movie, Battleship!

After Scott vents a bit and covers the top ten box office and his Finger List pick, he takes a moment to introduce a new segment intended to inject a little cultural depth into the show by reading portions of the book The Terrible Game, which was eventually adapted into the classic cult film Gymkata.

With literary pursuits out of the way, Scott offers his own observations on Joey's previous challenge, the 1999 pseudo-futuristic adaptation of Beowulf starring Christopher Lambert, and reviews Joey's challenge to him, the tepid and uninspired werewolf film Skinwalkers.



We've been adding podcast providers left and right this month, so not only can you listen to the show on iTunes and Zune, we can also be found on Podcast Pickle, Podcast Pup and Pod Feed, or you can stream us directly onto your smart phone using the sweet-ass Stitcher App. As always, you can also listen to the show streaming at Moviesucktastic.com.

And while you're at it, be sure to drop us a voice mail on the newly acquired Moviesucktastic Hotline, 908-514-4470. Hell, you've listened to us jabber about movies for almost two years now, maybe it's time we started listening to you for a change!
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