Moviesucktastic: Avatar

Showing posts with label Avatar. Show all posts

Tuesday, July 20, 2010

Inception: Planting a Clue in Sandy Kenyon's Dreamscape

Joey's Back!

That's right, faithful listeners! Last week, Joey was found huddled on his own doorstep in the morning, covered in sap, pine needles and blue face paint, vainly attempting to nurse the sports section of the Sunday Star Ledger in a feverish delirium. He has since been reunited with his family, and while it will be quite awhile before he is able to speak of his ordeal at the hands of psychotic Avatar fans (the recovery and deprogramming sessions are a slow and gradual process), he has recovered enough to come back and be a part of MovieSucktastic Episode #18!

With Joey in rare form and Scott in attendance, Episode #18 delves into the land of Nod, following the escapades of Dennis Quaid and Leonardo DiCaprio as they explore the deep recesses of the human psyche through dream exploration a quarter of a century apart in Dreamscape and Inception, respectively. While much is said and other topics occasionally intrude (Honestly, you can't shut these two up!), the quality of both films is discussed and dissected, along with their similarities and differences, and some theorizing as to who ripped off who (most of the votes go to Wes Craven, oddly enough).

Differences of opinion also arise when Joey takes a turn in the Rant Chamber and goes on a mini-tirade against ABC Eyewitness News Film Critic Sandy Kenyon, who is apparently (and admittedly) one of the few people in the country stupid enough to be confused by Christopher Nolan's masterful and extremely straightforward screenplay. Also listed among his sins on the show is his purposeful misrepresentation of Inception's concept of the inner mind's dream landscape in an effort to back his "Too Complicated" complaints regarding the film.

The finger list also makes a long-awaited return, and Scott formally and publicly apologizes to the ticket girl at Becky's Drive-In for an unintentionally unflattering and inaccurate physical description of her in his review of Twilight: Eclipse.

Joey and Scott's heartwarming reunion can be listened to or downloaded from iTunes, Podcast Alley, Podcast.com orMovieSucktastic.com. Sandy Kenyon can be mocked and ridiculed both directly or indirectly at ABC Eyewitness News.

Monday, May 3, 2010

How to Train Your Dragon and Avatar Abductions!

If you haven't tuned in to the MovieSucktastic podcast lately, you might want to check out the latest episode. There have been a lot of changes to the show format in the past few months, but the latest change was something that nobody could have predicted. It turns out that MovieSucktastic co-host Joey has been abducted by what appears to be a militant faction of Avatar fanatics. While no responsibility has been claimed and no demands or intentions have been made, the audio of Joey's last known phone message on his way to record the latest episode (he never arrived) is damning evidence in itself that these Avatar-obsessed hooligans have taken Joey hostage in retaliation for past anti-Avatar reviews posted by his fellow MovieSucktastic co-host, Scott Wilson.

With Joey's fate uncertain, Scott does his best to keep the show going, promising to keep the audience updated on the situation. In the meantime, Scott takes the time to go over the success of A Nightmare on Elm Street in the weekend box office results, shamelessly promotes his book (Monster Rally, available on Amazon.com), and channels the spiritual energy of Glenn Beck for a very special Right-Wing Review of the pro-terrorist anti-American animated feature How to Train Your Dragon.

You're going to regret it if you don't keep up with the latest happenings at MovieSucktastic, either at iTunes, Podcast Alley, Podcast.com or MovieSucktastic.com. Because this summer, things are going to Suck a whole lot more.

Friday, February 26, 2010

James Cameron's AVATAR = Satanic Pandering to the Illuminati!

If there's one thing I enjoy more than bashing Avatar, that's religious conspiracy theories. Now, much like the proverbial bar of chocolate and jar of peanut butter (isn't it sad that advertising is our generation's Aesop?), these two great tastes are now better together!

Join J.R. Church and his guest as they discuss the religious implications of Avatar, how James Cameron has twisted the teachings of the bible (yep, add God to the list of authors ripped off by Cameron), attempting to make us believe that possessed demons are good and man, the Son of God, is inherently evil.

Is Avatar to the Illuminati what Battlefield Earth was to Scientology? Will the novelizations of the film tie-in with the Left Behind series? Is James Cameron the Anti-Christ? Watch the videos below, get informed, and stop letting those heathens in Hollywood pull the wool over your eyes!

Friday, February 19, 2010

Oscar Watch Review: Avatar

Image via Wikipedia

Film: Avatar
Nominations: Art direction, Cinematography, Directing, Film editing, Original score, Best picture, Sound editing, Sound mixing, Visual effects

In our goal to give somewhat fair (we're not going to pretend to be completely unbiased here) and fully-informed coverage of the Academy Awards this March, Joey and I are determined to not only view every film up for a major award, but to review them as well.

With this in mind, it would seem a bit unfair not to mention Avatar with the others as we review them. However, our opinions have been broadcast quite clear; we have talked about the film in ad nauseum on the MovieSucktastic Podcast, and have covered it in numerous blog posts.

So, just consider this a quick recap:

Avatar is, without a doubt, the most popular film of the year, and most likely one of the most popular films of the decade. A mega-budget sci-fi fantasy space epic that takes place on a completely CGI-rendered alien planet, Avatar is filled with some of the most impressive displays of computer animation and 3D film-making to date. It is truly a stunning visual spectacle to behold.

It is also a film that features a shallow, thin, and decidedly unoriginal plot. Pointed out by many critics to be nothing more than a literal copy of Dances with Wolves, Pocahontas, and even Ferngully (which has seen a rocketing increase in sales and rentals due to the unfavorable comparisons), Avatar has received so much deserved criticism regarding the screenplay that director James Cameron has had to come out and publicly respond to accusations of blatant plagiarism. It is an overly simplistic plot that is more suitable for its cartoon feature predecessors, and barely manages to hold together the overly-long 162 minutes special effects extravaganza, especially considering that the PG-13 film was geared towards children and family audiences.

Avatar deserves most of its Oscar nominations. The sound, score, direction, editing and visual effects are all noteworthy for what they achieved. But primarily, all of this is driven by a film's story, the vehicle that drives everything that takes place on screen. As a whole, the excellence of what takes place on the screen in Avatar is weakened and diminished by the inadequate and generally lazy screenplay. The fact that this shallow spectacle has actually garnered an Oscar nomination for Best Picture is nothing more than an insult to all of the other films, past and present, that bothered to lend as much attention to the craft of the storytelling as they did for the visual effects utilized to enhance it.

The truly sad part of it is, Avatar might not have gotten its Best Picture nomination if the Academy hadn't bloated the size of the category to ten nominations The previously sufficient five slots wouldn't have left them enough room to also nominate District 9, so they wouldn't look like complete idiots for passing over a film that managed impressive special effects and a great screenplay (which it has also been nominated for, by the way) at a fraction of Avatar's ridiculous budget.

It is also my theory that the only reason they didn't try to nominate Avatar for screenplay isn't because it was a weak script, but because it would be hard to rationalize whether it belonged in the Original or Adapted category.

There, I think I'm done now.

Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Podcast Episode #8: Sequels! Sequels! Sequels!

The wait is over! After an agonizingly lengthy delay, the latest episode of MovieSucktastic is finally up and ready for your easy listening pleasure!

Seasonal constraints and other complications can throw a monkey wrench in some of the best laid plans, and your humble hosts Joey and Scott are no different. But now that we've finally gotten over our mutual hurdles, things are moving along quite swimmingly, thank you very much. We've cleaned the dust off of the MovieSucktastic Microphone and gotten down to business, bringing our own special blend of film theory and criticism to your sensitive little earbuds.

What do Joey and Scott have lined up for your amusement and mirth this episode? We start off with a recap of the recent top ten box office champs, followed by our additions to the Finger List, each of us choosing which film we would rather cut off our little finger rather than watch in a theater. Find out which one of us would rather horribly mutilate ourselves rather than watch Did You Hear About the Morgans?

After that, we launch right into our overview of the currently slated barrage of sequels heading to your local overpriced theaters in 2010. Hollywood has been slowly turning up the output knob on the Sequel Machine (Patent Pending) over the past decade, with 2010 topping all expectations. Its looking more and more likely that, between sequels and remakes, your odds of seeing anything even remotely original in the theaters this year have diminished greatly. And yes, that includes Avatar.

On top of all of this, we also announce the winner of our Facebook Page contest! Tune in and find out which one of our first 100 Facebook Fans won an autographed copy of co-host Scott's latest book on cult and horror cinema, Monster Rally. Better yet, join our Facebook Fan Page before it hits 200 and you might win our next drawing yourself!

So go to MovieSucktastic.com and either listen to and/or download episode #8 directly from the website, or follow our links to iTunes, Podcast Alley and Podcast.com. And don't forget to email us and let us know what you think of us, the show, or a bad movie you've recently seen. You've heard us, now let us hear you!

Monday, January 18, 2010

District 9 vs. Avatar

Image via Wikipedia

At the risk of boring with yet another Avatar themed blog post, attention and kudos must be granted in equally sizable amounts to Tiffany Vogt, columnist for Airlock Alpha, for her recent article "Avatar vs. District 9 – In a deeply divisive race, an argument as to why “District 9” deserves the Oscar for Best Picture more than “Avatar” (part 1)." Tiffany takes a comparison made in recent Moviesucktastic podcasts and guides her readers through the argument with great precision and attention to detail:

Posing this very controversial argument, I want to share why “District 9” is more Oscar-worthy than the mega-hit “Avatar.” Surely, the virtually unknown sci-fi film that was one of the few films to cross over the $200 million mark this past summer deserves a little attention – and as the Producers Guild’s nomination for Best Picture has proven, it is a worthy contender to watch out for during this award season.

Check out her full article over at The TV Watchtower and hear yet another rational voice speak out against the blind idolatry that Avatar has been inspiring in so many delusional souls.

Friday, January 15, 2010

Avatar Revisited: Opening Pandora's Box

I've been talking about James Cameron's Avatar quite a bit recently.

Not completely by choice, mind you. MovieSucktastic co-host Joey and I did indeed see Avatar opening weekend, 3D and all, mainly so we could review it and get it out of the way. Our Podcast and Blog reviews were rather tepid and dispassionate: the story was bland and uninspiring, and while the effects were great, they didn't push the envelope of 3D or CGI as far as the hype implied. Not completely bad, but nothing mind-blowing, with a few good moments and enough eye-candy to make it worth watching. I filed my unimpressed opinion and moved on.

The all sorts of Hell broke loose.

People from far and wide reacted to my review as if I had individually emailed them and called them slack-jawed morons for even seeing the film, let alone enjoying it. Insults and personal attacks poured in as a flood of emails came to the defense of Avatar and its now billion-dollar box-office take. How dare I attack a genius like James Cameron. You critics hate anything that people like. Why don't you go back to painting ceilings. You're an idiot. The title of your podcast sucks. Why don't you try something creative yourself instead of picking on other people? You're just a Hipster Wannabe who needs to hate anything popular. Why must you destroy all that is good and decent in the world? God hates you.

Needless to say, I was mildly surprised. I went back and double-checked my review, just in case I had written a scathingly negative review and forgotten. Nope. In fact, I've read Three-Star reviews of Avatar more negative and critical than my piece. Yet, here was a veritable mob of angry villagers ready to burn me at the stake for breaking from the herd. They backed me into a figurative corner, forcing me to either defend myself or succumb to their frenzied blows.

So, unfortunately, I've had to push back a little. I don't mean this in an aggressive or combative way, of course. But what it all comes down to, is that I have been forced to reevaluate my stance on Avatar.

There is no denying that Avatar is now a runaway hit. You can't take that away from the film, nor would I want to. I said from the beginning that the film successfully achieved all that it wanted to, and it ultimately succeeds at what it is, a hollow but dazzlingly brilliant special effects display. Everyone loves fireworks. Doesn't make them bad. But as the mantra at MovieSucktastic asserts, just because you like a film, it doesn't mean it isn't bad. I like Twinkies, but that doesn't make them a culinary masterpiece. But according to these vocal and rather inhospitable attackers, the pleasure they derived from the film means it must be great. It simply must be.

Delusional or not, there are simply way too many people singing praises and making excuses for this nearly half-billion-dollar remake of Ferngully out some apparently psychotic need to relive the magic of seeing Star Wars for the first time as children. And maybe that's all this is: a bunch of world-weary adults squeezed so tightly by an overwhelmingly depressing series of political and economic disasters that they have clung to this overpriced epic in some drastic attempt to retreat emotionally to a simpler, more innocent time in their lives. A time when movies were still a magical gateway to a fantastic world of fantasy and adventure.

But here's the rub: you can do that without lowering your standards, and standards have indeed lowered. It hasn't even been a year since people were going out of their way to dump on Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen for being a lengthy exercise in shallow screen-writing punctuated with chases, explosions, and over the top special effects. Michael Bay was criticized by all for being an over-hyped hack who was all visuals and no storytelling, despite the film's generous take at the box-office. But now here we are, with a director and film guilty of the exact same thing, and people are screaming for a sweep at the Oscars.

And here's the big run: it isn't the hardcore science fiction fans doing the chest-thumping. I recently voiced my general displeasure with Avatar while acting as a guest speaker at a recent science fiction group gathering, and while not all agreed with my criticisms, these die-hard fans merely engaged in a spirited yet friendly debate on the subject. No, the angry fans declaring the unquestionable brilliance of this film seem to be the casual film viewers, ordinary people who are not usually obsessive with their tastes in film, but have chosen this of all movies to claim as their own shining example of the pinnacle of film-making.

Is this what we can expect now? People spending all year bitching and whining about Hollywood cranking out expensive but poorly written special effects displays, only to inexplicably drop to their knees in awe at the first mega-budget cross between Dances with Wolves and Shrek that comes out in 3D? I was originally noncommittal in my reception Avatar, not willing to declare disapproval, but merely to state my lack of awe. But, as I say, I have been backed into a corner, and told that my disapproval is tantamount to heresy. I am to recant my disbelief, or face the Cameron Inquisition. So be it.

Avatar sucked.

Believe it. Or not.

Avatar Review: Damn Pretty, Shame About The Dances With Pocahontas Story Line (inquisitr.com)
Cameron Talks Avatar Trilogy With Entertainment Weekly (screenrant.com)
Avatar Is Like The iPhone Of Movies (techcrunch.com)
Avatar: James Cameron rejects plagiarism claims (telegraph.co.uk)
Fan Rant: Is the Bar Lower for 'Avatar'? (cinematical.com)
The Vatican Thinks Avatar's Trees Can Beat Up God (cinemablend.com)

Thursday, January 7, 2010

Pocahontas/Avatar Trailer

Because we just can't get enough of the humorous comparisons of Avatar to the countless other films that offered the exact same storyline, here is a trailer that fully demonstrates the Avatar/Pocahontas connection.

Original Pocahontas... er, I mean... Avatar Outline.

Looks like your friends at MovieSucktastic aren't the only ones who felt Avatar was a little less than original or inspiring. We've come across what looks like the original plot outline for Avatar... sort of.

Not sure who to give credit to for this one. If you know who is to blame, let us know.

Monday, December 28, 2009

Whitty Whatch: Avatar, Patriotism and a Three-Star Negative Review

Image via Wikipedia

Yet another substandard review by Whitty (readable in its entirety here).

Whitty starts off his review of Avatar by being surprisingly honest, something a lot of critics have been trying to avoid. He rather bluntly points out that while the movie isn’t a steaming pile of crap, neither is it a groundbreaking work of cinematic history (apart from the budget, that is). Of course, that is all there really is to say about the film. But Whitty needs to fill more space in order to justify a whole-page review in the Friday Entertainment Section. So, needless to say, he starts spinning that classic Whitty magic.

One of Whitty's main complaints is that Avatar's anti-war theme makes some references that relate to our own country's eight-year Iraqi war. He appears upset that Cameron would dare make comparisons between Avatar's corporation-backed-military preemptively invading Pandora for mineral profits, and America's Halibuton & Blackwater-backed-military preemptively invading Iraq for oil profits. No, Whitty's right, there's hardly a real comparison there at all.

But just coming out and saying that he disagrees with the film’s political message won’t do. So instead he claims that the film “gets confused in its politics. He whines about the film’s Na’vi being portrayed in “the image of the Native American as a peaceful eco-warrior,” totally overlooking the fact that the U.S. government did indeed use its military might to practically wipe out the Native Americans for their land and mineral rights. More specifically, he fears that mixing the imagery of Native Americans with current military jargon like “Shock and Awe” and “Daisy Cutters” somehow makes America’s eight-year debacle in Iraq seem less legitimate.

So Whitty is a supporter of the Iraqi war. Fair enough. He is entitled to his political opinion. But instead of just saying so, he argues that the film is “poisoned” by Cameron’s “clumsy attempts” to modernize the classic tale of Corporate Greed vs. Indigenous Natives (Here’s a little hint for you Whitty: nations have been doing the same thing long before the stars and stripes. It isn’t always about us, you know.). It can’t be that he and Cameron disagree; it has to be that Whitty is right and Cameron is “confused” and naïve. He even goes as far as to insinuate that the film is nothing more than a terrorist recruitment brochure that should “have a huge opening weekend in Basra.”

Ironically, Whitty spends half of the review criticizing Avatar for being morally naive, and the other half for attempting to be morally relevant, simply because he doesn't agree with the political viewpoint of the director. He accuses the film’s anti-corporate/militaristic message of being “a misread mix of Rousseau and Chomsky,” making it readily apparent that he hasn’t read much of either.

Surprisingly, Whitty doesn’t make any glaring factual errors this round. The closest he gets is implying that Avatar’s plot is reminiscent of the Star Trek episode The Menagerie, a dubious and somewhat perplexing claim. I guess he felt that all sci-fi originates from Star Trek. He wouldn’t be the first to share that delusion. But he does use the sickening copout critic phrase Popcorn Movie, although he upgrades it to “Popcorn Epic” in Cameron’s honor. And I really fail to see what Cameron's multiple marriages have to do with his political views towards feminism. Then again, if you are determined to give a Three-Star bad review, I guess it helps to take pot-shots at the director's personal life instead of his film.

That’s right, you heard correctly. Whitty spends most of his lengthy review listing the numerous errors and flaws with the film, and then feels fit to award it Three out of Four stars anyway. So, in Whitty’s own words: the film Avatar contains “half-baked ideas,” “clumsy dialogue,” “adolescent philosophy,” and “sketchy characterization.” Sure sounds like a Three Star film to me.

What I Learned From Avatar

Humans will always be driven to destroy all that is beautiful and natural.
Corporations are evil and untrustworthy.
No matter what evil deeds are perpetrated by corporations, the CEO will always escape any penalties.
God is the Internet, Heaven is one giant Server, and we are all Plug & Play data ports.
The best belief system is the kind that can be proven through scientific method.
3D makes everything better.
The Tribe Leader’s young warrior son will always come off as a royal prick until you get a chance to bond with him in the third act.
It is okay to kill marines if they are private contractors and not on the government payroll.
A planet-wide rainforest ecosystem will contain only six or seven distinct animals.
Michelle Rodriguez is contractually obligated to die in everything she stars in.
When felling a tree measuring over a mile high, not one person is going to think of saying “Timber.”
Floating mountains can have waterfalls despite having no source for the water to come from.
Its okay to have a completely predictable storyline if it costs half a billion dollars and looks really cool.
Superstitious shamanistic races are more likely to deal with foreign interlopers who show up magically possessing bodies built to resemble their own.
The idealistic alien race is built like an impossibly thin ten-foot-tall runway model .
Destroying your girlfriend’s home and killing her father will break up your relationship, but if you show up later with a totally hot ride, she’ll take you back in a heartbeat.
Ten years of development, and the most creative name that James Cameron can think of for his film’s fictional rare mineral is Unobtainium.
Even worse, the movie poster tagline he could come up with was Believe It, Or Not.
People will pay to see anything in 3D.

Tuesday, July 20, 2010

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