Image via WikipediaJoy of Joys! Valentine's Day came early for your Moviesucktastic hosts Joey and Scott, as the estimates of this weekend's Box Office take clearly show that Mr. Avatar's newest 3D offering has been soundly thrashed by the only film daring to challenge it by opening on the same weekend! Who would have predicted (besides us, of course) that James Cameron's harrowing spelunker adventure (based ever-so-loosely on actual events) Sanctum would lose at the box office opening weekend to the Collegiate version of Single White Female, The Roommate? Sanctum may have been a small film for James "Four Years to Film Giant Smurfs" Cameron, but having his $30 million dollar soundly trounced by a film that cost half of that has to sting just a little, especially when the main draw is the decidedly un-CGI Leighton Meester and Minka Kelly sleeping in the same bed. Let's hope Kathryn Bigelow phoned James "Hurt Locker Would Have Been Better In 3D" Cameron this morning and told him to suck it.
Maybe you can blame this one on the titles. Considering the literacy rates in America (just mention subtitles to a prospective audience member and watch them run screaming into the night), titling a film Sanctum is definitely a risk, especially when you consider that you've just saddled a film featuring cave divers with a name that sounds uncomfortably close to Rectum (no doubt the name of the XXX parody already being written in Larry Flynt's deviant little mind). Perhaps he had gained some confidence regarding the title after the success of Inception, not fully grasping how long American film audiences would put up with theater marquees resembling SAT questions. So when it came to picking a film to watch this weekend, most moviegoers no doubt decided to forgo the time it would take to look up the definition of "Sanctum" (noun: 1. a sacred or holy place, 2. an inviolably private place or retreat) and just opted for the blatantly obvious and descriptively titled film. Then again, maybe they're just fed up with all of this 3D crap.
Behind that little chocolate coated goodness, there are no real surprises this weekend. A number of the top ten films are Oscar nominees, as is to be expected, although Ashton Kutcher still holds the title of King of the January Release with No Strings Attached at #3. The King's Speech rides it's Oscar Nominations with pride at #4, and the thankfully Kevin Smith unrelated Green Hornet flounders in mediocrity at #5, looking very unlikely to earn its Hardee's-sponsored money back.
On a side note, I think it is worth pointing out that out of the top twelve films this weekend, only one of them boasts a budget of over $100 million (with no hope of earning its money back), and nine of them at under $50 million, with the three costing under $20 million already grossing more than the budget of the disappointing Tron: Legacy. So much for 3D. Suck it, Cameron.
Image via Wikipedia MovieSucktastic Episode #19 salutes the male movie-going audiences of America!
As anyone paying attention to the never ending battle between Box Office Testosterone and Cinematic Estrogen knows, this past weekend saw the ultimate battle of the sexes take place in the Box Office, with the winner being determined by the yardstick of success that all Americans can agree on: Cold Hard Cash. The results were a major blow to the "Hollywood doesn't need to blow things up to make money" crowd, as The Expendables blew the ever-loving hell out of everything in site to the tune of $12,000,000 more than Julia Roberts' gelato-loving, soul-searching, globe-trotting feelings-fest Eat Pray Love. And that's without any 3D money padding the ticket sales. Eat that, Cameron!
Unfortunately,MovieSucktastic host Joey was not on hand to share in the chest-thumping celebrations. While his triumphant return to the recording of Episode #18 was a great step forward, Joey is still dealing with the long-term emotional and psychological side-effects of being kidnapped and partially brainwashed by obsessive Avatar fanatics. His progress was coming along nicely, but an unfortunate incident involving leftover Chinese food and a late-night screening of The Fifth Element left him in a confused and agitated state of Na'vi regression. So while Joey is finally back, his participation in the show's recording will continue to be sporadic for the near future. You can't rush these things after all.
Scott trudged bravely along, however, blazing new ground as he read some poorly-written listener hate-mail during the show's second half. It seems that an angry Twilight fan took him up on his challenge to the hordes of Twilight Tweens to sound of against him for his harsh review of Twilight: New Moon. Scott performs a dramatic reading of the letter then responds to it, although not as harshly as one might expect.
To round things up, Scott introduces a new expletive-laden feature to the show, and enters James Cameron as the first honorary subject. Cameron made some rather ill-advised comments about 3D films and Kathryn Bigelow's Hurt Locker Oscar win in a recent interview with Entertainment Weekly, and Scott eagerly pounces on these telling Cameron Quotes, using them as yet another excuse to openly insult the man now worshiped by millions of misguided Avatar fans. His comments, while insightful, are not recommended for small children, clergy, or those with a weak and easily offended constitution. But then again, what's new?
If there's one thing I enjoy more than bashing Avatar, that's religious conspiracy theories. Now, much like the proverbial bar of chocolate and jar of peanut butter (isn't it sad that advertising is our generation's Aesop?), these two great tastes are now better together!
Join J.R. Church and his guest as they discuss the religious implications of Avatar, how James Cameron has twisted the teachings of the bible (yep, add God to the list of authors ripped off by Cameron), attempting to make us believe that possessed demons are good and man, the Son of God, is inherently evil.
Is Avatar to the Illuminati what Battlefield Earth was to Scientology? Will the novelizations of the film tie-in with the Left Behind series? Is James Cameron the Anti-Christ? Watch the videos below, get informed, and stop letting those heathens in Hollywood pull the wool over your eyes!
Film: Avatar Nominations: Art direction, Cinematography, Directing, Film editing, Original score, Best picture, Sound editing, Sound mixing, Visual effects
In our goal to give somewhat fair (we're not going to pretend to be completely unbiased here) and fully-informed coverage of the Academy Awards this March, Joey and I are determined to not only view every film up for a major award, but to review them as well.
With this in mind, it would seem a bit unfair not to mention Avatar with the others as we review them. However, our opinions have been broadcast quite clear; we have talked about the film in ad nauseum on the MovieSucktastic Podcast, and have covered itin numerousblogposts.
So, just consider this a quick recap:
Avatar is, without a doubt, the most popular film of the year, and most likely one of the most popular films of the decade. A mega-budget sci-fi fantasy space epic that takes place on a completely CGI-rendered alien planet, Avatar is filled with some of the most impressive displays of computer animation and 3D film-making to date. It is truly a stunning visual spectacle to behold.
It is also a film that features a shallow, thin, and decidedly unoriginal plot. Pointed out by many critics to be nothing more than a literal copy of Dances with Wolves, Pocahontas, and even Ferngully(which has seen a rocketing increase in sales and rentals due to the unfavorable comparisons), Avatar has received so much deserved criticism regarding the screenplay that director James Cameron has had to come out and publicly respond to accusations of blatant plagiarism. It is an overly simplistic plot that is more suitable for its cartoon feature predecessors, and barely manages to hold together the overly-long 162 minutes special effects extravaganza, especially considering that the PG-13 film was geared towards children and family audiences.
Avatar deserves most of its Oscar nominations. The sound, score, direction, editing and visual effects are all noteworthy for what they achieved. But primarily, all of this is driven by a film's story, the vehicle that drives everything that takes place on screen. As a whole, the excellence of what takes place on the screen in Avatar is weakened and diminished by the inadequate and generally lazy screenplay. The fact that this shallow spectacle has actually garnered an Oscar nomination for Best Picture is nothing more than an insult to all of the other films, past and present, that bothered to lend as much attention to the craft of the storytelling as they did for the visual effects utilized to enhance it.
The truly sad part of it is, Avatar might not have gotten its Best Picture nomination if the Academy hadn't bloated the size of the category to ten nominations The previously sufficient five slots wouldn't have left them enough room to also nominate District 9, so they wouldn't look like complete idiots for passing over a film that managed impressive special effects and a great screenplay (which it has also been nominated for, by the way) at a fraction of Avatar's ridiculous budget.
It is also my theory that the only reason they didn't try to nominate Avatar for screenplay isn't because it was a weak script, but because it would be hard to rationalize whether it belonged in the Original or Adapted category.
The wait is over! After an agonizingly lengthy delay, the latest episode of MovieSucktasticis finally up and ready for your easy listening pleasure!
Seasonal constraints and other complications can throw a monkey wrench in some of the best laid plans, and your humble hosts Joey and Scott are no different. But now that we've finally gotten over our mutual hurdles, things are moving along quite swimmingly, thank you very much. We've cleaned the dust off of the MovieSucktastic Microphone and gotten down to business, bringing our own special blend of film theory and criticism to your sensitive little earbuds.
What do Joey and Scott have lined up for your amusement and mirth this episode? We start off with a recap of the recent top ten box office champs, followed by our additions to the Finger List, each of us choosing which film we would rather cut off our little finger rather than watch in a theater. Find out which one of us would rather horribly mutilate ourselves rather than watch Did You Hear About the Morgans?
After that, we launch right into our overview of the currently slated barrage of sequels heading to your local overpriced theaters in 2010. Hollywood has been slowly turning up the output knob on the Sequel Machine (Patent Pending) over the past decade, with 2010 topping all expectations. Its looking more and more likely that, between sequels and remakes, your odds of seeing anything even remotely original in the theaters this year have diminished greatly. And yes, that includes Avatar.
On top of all of this, we also announce the winner of our Facebook Page contest! Tune in and find out which one of our first 100 Facebook Fans won an autographed copy of co-host Scott's latest book on cult and horror cinema, Monster Rally. Better yet, join our Facebook Fan Page before it hits 200 and you might win our next drawing yourself!
So go to MovieSucktastic.com and either listen to and/or download episode #8 directly from the website, or follow our links to iTunes, Podcast Alley and Podcast.com. And don't forget to email us and let us know what you think of us, the show, or a bad movie you've recently seen. You've heard us, now let us hear you!
Not completely by choice, mind you. MovieSucktastic co-host Joey and I did indeed see Avatar opening weekend, 3D and all, mainly so we could review it and get it out of the way. Our Podcast and Blog reviews were rather tepid and dispassionate: the story was bland and uninspiring, and while the effects were great, they didn't push the envelope of 3D or CGI as far as the hype implied. Not completely bad, but nothing mind-blowing, with a few good moments and enough eye-candy to make it worth watching. I filed my unimpressed opinion and moved on.
The all sorts of Hell broke loose.
People from far and wide reacted to my review as if I had individually emailed them and called them slack-jawed morons for even seeing the film, let alone enjoying it. Insults and personal attacks poured in as a flood of emails came to the defense of Avatar and its now billion-dollar box-office take. How dare I attack a genius like James Cameron. You critics hate anything that people like. Why don't you go back to painting ceilings. You're an idiot. The title of your podcast sucks. Why don't you try something creative yourself instead of picking on other people? You're just a Hipster Wannabe who needs to hate anything popular. Why must you destroy all that is good and decent in the world? God hates you.
Needless to say, I was mildly surprised. I went back and double-checked my review, just in case I had written a scathingly negative review and forgotten. Nope. In fact, I've read Three-Star reviews of Avatar more negative and critical than my piece. Yet, here was a veritable mob of angry villagers ready to burn me at the stake for breaking from the herd. They backed me into a figurative corner, forcing me to either defend myself or succumb to their frenzied blows.
So, unfortunately, I've had to push back a little. I don't mean this in an aggressive or combative way, of course. But what it all comes down to, is that I have been forced to reevaluate my stance on Avatar.
There is no denying that Avatar is now a runaway hit. You can't take that away from the film, nor would I want to. I said from the beginning that the film successfully achieved all that it wanted to, and it ultimately succeeds at what it is, a hollow but dazzlingly brilliant special effects display. Everyone loves fireworks. Doesn't make them bad. But as the mantra at MovieSucktastic asserts, just because you like a film, it doesn't mean it isn't bad. I like Twinkies, but that doesn't make them a culinary masterpiece. But according to these vocal and rather inhospitable attackers, the pleasure they derived from the film means it must be great. It simply must be.
Delusional or not, there are simply way too many people singing praises and making excuses for this nearly half-billion-dollar remake of Ferngullyout some apparently psychotic need to relive the magic of seeing Star Wars for the first time as children. And maybe that's all this is: a bunch of world-weary adults squeezed so tightly by an overwhelmingly depressing series of political and economic disasters that they have clung to this overpriced epic in some drastic attempt to retreat emotionally to a simpler, more innocent time in their lives. A time when movies were still a magical gateway to a fantastic world of fantasy and adventure.
But here's the rub: you can do that without lowering your standards, and standards have indeed lowered. It hasn't even been a year since people were going out of their way to dump on Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen for being a lengthy exercise in shallow screen-writing punctuated with chases, explosions, and over the top special effects. Michael Bay was criticized by all for being an over-hyped hack who was all visuals and no storytelling, despite the film's generous take at the box-office. But now here we are, with a director and film guilty of the exact same thing, and people are screaming for a sweep at the Oscars.
And here's the big run: it isn't the hardcore science fiction fans doing the chest-thumping. I recently voiced my general displeasure with Avatar while acting as a guest speaker at a recent science fiction group gathering, and while not all agreed with my criticisms, these die-hard fans merely engaged in a spirited yet friendly debate on the subject. No, the angry fans declaring the unquestionable brilliance of this film seem to be the casual film viewers, ordinary people who are not usually obsessive with their tastes in film, but have chosen this of all movies to claim as their own shining example of the pinnacle of film-making.
Is this what we can expect now? People spending all year bitching and whining about Hollywood cranking out expensive but poorly written special effects displays, only to inexplicably drop to their knees in awe at the first mega-budget cross between Dances with Wolves and Shrek that comes out in 3D? I was originally noncommittal in my reception Avatar, not willing to declare disapproval, but merely to state my lack of awe. But, as I say, I have been backed into a corner, and told that my disapproval is tantamount to heresy. I am to recant my disbelief, or face the Cameron Inquisition. So be it.
Humans will always be driven to destroy all that is beautiful and natural.
Corporations are evil and untrustworthy.
No matter what evil deeds are perpetrated by corporations, the CEO will always escape any penalties.
God is the Internet, Heaven is one giant Server, and we are all Plug & Play data ports.
The best belief system is the kind that can be proven through scientific method.
3D makes everything better.
The Tribe Leader’s young warrior son will always come off as a royal prick until you get a chance to bond with him in the third act.
It is okay to kill marines if they are private contractors and not on the government payroll.
A planet-wide rainforest ecosystem will contain only six or seven distinct animals.
Michelle Rodriguez is contractually obligated to die in everything she stars in.
When felling a tree measuring over a mile high, not one person is going to think of saying “Timber.”
Floating mountains can have waterfalls despite having no source for the water to come from.
Its okay to have a completely predictable storyline if it costs half a billion dollars and looks really cool.
Superstitious shamanistic races are more likely to deal with foreign interlopers who show up magically possessing bodies built to resemble their own.
The idealistic alien race is built like an impossibly thin ten-foot-tall runway model .
Destroying your girlfriend’s home and killing her father will break up your relationship, but if you show up later with a totally hot ride, she’ll take you back in a heartbeat.
Ten years of development, and the most creative name that James Cameron can think of for his film’s fictional rare mineral is Unobtainium.
Even worse, the movie poster tagline he could come up with was Believe It, Or Not.
That’s really the question when it comes to assessing the quality of Avatar, James Cameron’s first film in over a decade. His first major theatrical release since Titanic, it has been obvious for a long time that Cameron and the studios had every intention of making Avatar as much of a blockbuster epic as its Oscar-winningLeonardo DiCaprio-starring predecessor.
After two successful weekends in the theater, it is now safe to say that it isn’t the bomb some might have feared or hoped for. This was actually evident before the first box office receipts were in, when the short-lived review embargo (usually the first clue that the film is a potential flop) was broken by film critics eager to share their mutual surprise that the film wasn’t this decade’s Ishtaror Heaven’s Gate. Since then there has been a virtual love-fest between the media and the studios, and a $75+ million opening weekend despite a blizzard-hampered East Coast has dispelled any fears that the audiences wouldn’t bite. The mutual consensus: It isn’t bad.
But, again; does Not Bad = Good?
Avatar’s notoriously gargantuan $400+ Million budget actually delivers on its overall promise of over-the-top 3D and special effects. Over half of the film is dominated by advanced CGI-rendered characters, animals and Day-Glo jungle environments. And yes, they are quite amazing. Seen in 3D or 2D, you can see where all the money went. But when it comes to justifying the amount spent, the lines of reason and good taste begin to blur.
The main chorus being sung by the film’s promoters and apologist film critics (speaking of blurred boundaries) is that these are the most realistic CGI rendered characters you will ever see. To paraphrase one of many identical review/interview/commercial spots, the realism invoked by these realistic animated characters is so overwhelming that you will actually come to believe that they are real beings.
This, of course, is a load of crap.
As impressive as these computer generated characters are, there is no point during the film that any rational adult will find themselves wondering how they managed to make the Navi look so real, because they don’t look real; they look like what they are, extremely impressive computer-generated characters. Now, children in the audience might feel differently, but kids aren’t an especially discerning audience. Decades ago, millions of underage film-goers were more than willing to believe that a bunch of midgets in fur suits running around the screen in Return of the Jedi were actually a race of heavily-merchandised half-pint Wookies.
Its called the Suspension of Disbelief, an integral part of the movie-going experience that is not necessarily increased exponentially with the amount of money spent on the effects budget.
As much as the propaganda-heavy news reports and film critic reviews would like you to believe that special effects are what make characters endearing, the truth of the matter is that screenplay and actor performance easily trump that list. In the case of Avatar, the performances are only as good as the special effects and script allows them to be. Considering the weak story presented behind the 3D CGI spectacle, this leaves them all at about half-mast.
The lack of a decent script is almost understandable; when you are completely focused on delivering groundbreaking visuals worthy of a half-billion price tag, you’re going to want to keep your script as lean and simple as possible. And simple it is. Anyone who has ever seen Dances with Wolves, The Last Samurai or Enemy Mine already knows this story (aka Plot #17) inside and out: Main Character battles Good Group on behalf of Evil Group, but eventually indentifies with Good Group and helps them defeat Evil Group. Roll credits.
But again, apologists are eager to claim that the amazingly expensive special effects more than justify the extremely light and simplistic screenplay. After all, the nearly half-billion-dollar special effects made the Navi almost seem like a real race, right? My rebuttal to this nonsense is last year’s surprise sci-fi hit District 9.
In District 9, we have yet another film featuring humans interacting with a computer-generated alien species. Instead of the tall, wasp-waisted Navi (yet another Hollywood attempt at increasing eating disorders in young girls) frolicking in a jungle paradise, District 9’s aliens are giant grubby-looking insectoids, affectionately dubbed "Prawns" by their South African benefactors. Both films feature themes regarding the treatment of foreign races and cultures utilizing metaphoric alien races, but District 9 takes the time to explore the relation and exploitation with more attention paid to the complex nature of such situations, with a storyline and character development that doesn’t feel like a black-and-white storybook parable. It garnered rave reviews, also including the realism and believability of its alien creatures, and went on to earn nearly quadruple its budget during its American theatrical release.
District 9 might not have been a pillar of originality either, arguably being a remake of Alien Nation. But it still treads on far more philosophical and socially relevant ground than sour-milk-drinking populated pun-titled predecessor. Also, while not achieving the extreme ratio of CGI to real world screen time, District 9 managed to achieve the same level of critical and financial success as Avatar, and with a vastly superior screenplay. Its budget: A measly $30 million, less than a tenth of Avatar’s price tag.
So, does Not Bad mean Good? Not really. It doesn’t necessarily mean Bad either, and considering the money it is bringing in, that’s all that matters. Weighing the amazing visuals against the uninspiring script, the only fair assessment is that the film is just your typical Hollywood mega-budget blockbuster; big on spectacle but lacking in substance, no more or less deserving of its box office totals than Transformers 2 or 2012.
But let’s stop making excuses for the obscene amount of money thrown at what is nothing more than another unforgettable weekend blockbuster extravaganza. As much as the Hollywood elite might feel the need to engage in these annual meg-budget pissing contests, special-effect stroke-fests are no substitute for quality filmmaking. And contrary to popular belief, there is a difference.
Image via WikipediaJoy of Joys! Valentine's Day came early for your Moviesucktastic hosts Joey and Scott, as the estimates of this weekend's Box Office take clearly show that Mr. Avatar's newest 3D offering has been soundly thrashed by the only film daring to challenge it by opening on the same weekend! Who would have predicted (besides us, of course) that James Cameron's harrowing spelunker adventure (based ever-so-loosely on actual events) Sanctum would lose at the box office opening weekend to the Collegiate version of Single White Female, The Roommate? Sanctum may have been a small film for James "Four Years to Film Giant Smurfs" Cameron, but having his $30 million dollar soundly trounced by a film that cost half of that has to sting just a little, especially when the main draw is the decidedly un-CGI Leighton Meester and Minka Kelly sleeping in the same bed. Let's hope Kathryn Bigelow phoned James "Hurt Locker Would Have Been Better In 3D" Cameron this morning and told him to suck it.
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